Friday, August 7, 2009

Possible Dylan Christmas Songs

With the rumors going around that Bob Dylan is going to release a Christmas album I have "discovered" snippets from some possible songs that could make the cut.

"Well I see you got your brand new red velvet Santa haaaaaaaat. I wonder what it would feel like to give out gifts under something like that your brand new red velvet Santa hat!"

"You could be known as the only red nose reindeer ever cut through a snow storm to do the deal. What's a reindeer like you doin’ leading a team like this?"

“There’s a whole lotta people at the mall today with a gift receipt. Whole lotta people in line today with a gift receipt. Three neck ties or a microwave, you didn’t need em so it’s time to save. Maybe get some new shoes for your feet with a gift receipt”

“One more cup of coffee before I go, to the NORRRRRRRRRTH POLLLLLLLLLE!”

“I laid up in bed I waited for you
So darn excited I could barely sleep
So many wishes I hope that come true
If I don’t get that bicycle I think I will weep
Santaaaa oh Santa, whatever made you want to change my list
Santaaaa oh Santa , how did I end up with all the wrong gifts”

“It may be oatmeal or may be chocolate chip but you’re gonna have to serve some cookies”

“Under that pine fur Christmas tree oh yeah! Underneath that pine fur Christmas tree oh yeah. Well underneath that tree are gonna’ be some milk and cookies. Underneath that pine fur Christmas tree oh yeah.”

“The snow is falling and I’ve been here all day
Too excited to sleep and time is running away
Hope I get that cool big wheel
My older brother just told me that Santa isn’t real
As long as I get gifts I don’t really care
It’s not Christmas yet, but it’s getting there.”

“Hey Frosty the Snowman, sing a song for me.
I’m not sleepy and it’s a quarter past two
Hey Frosty the Snowman sing a song for me
If the sun comes out tomorrow I’ll be missing you”

“Can’t you see the sky a snowin?
Reindeer coming into view coming from a country mile or two
So happy just to see a smile and share eggnog with you
On this Christmasssss morning, on this Christmas morning with you”


  1. Great parodies - you made my day. Must have been fun to do, too.

  2. Brilliant! By the time I had read the second one I knew it was going to be a good ride.

    Can I play?

    "Sometimes Santa comes all dressed in fleece."

    I'll keep my day job.

  3. Tryin' to get to Macy's (before they close the store)
    Love is just a four-antlered herd
    Sign on a Window says 2 for 1
    Not hark yet
    Standing in the store way
    Deck The Hollis
    Hard Reindeer Gonna Fall
    Go Tell It On Bear Mountain
    Santa (easy to look at, hard to define)
    Ballad Of A Fat Man
    Here We Come A'Wesley Harding
    I Don't Believe Yule
    It's All Over Now Baby Jesus
    Trust Your Elf
    Girl From The North Pole

  4. this is the funniest stuff I've seen in years. I am literally crying laughing LOL ROFL and CAROFL which means crying and rolling on the floor laughing to me.

    Maybe it's partially because I saw Bob and Sang with Bob under the stars and and full moon last night in Grand Prairie, TX. It's the closest to heaven I've seen in years. He sang Things Have Changed, and If You Ever Go To Houston, which I really wanted to hear and GPTX was the last of 3 shows I saw this week. It was a hoot and a howl, complete with the full moon (or very close to it) all three nights. "Them I won't forget, but You, I'll remember always". "May Your Heart Always be Joyful May Your Song Always Be Sung..."
    Your love/truth is the water in the desert, and the rain after the fire. Thank-you, dear poet-lauret. Together Through Life with you is the medicine needed for a scorched earth policy. OMG. I can't express it any further. How does it feel? Life heaven on earth, last night.

  5. I can't wait to hear the real thing. I love your take on it.
    The best bit is that now I know what to buy my sister for Christmas and it's only August. Yippee!

  6. Thanks for the comments. Nerida - I am right there with you, my brother's gifts are locked up now. The thoughts on the shows recently attended were great. "Love is just a four-antlered herd" YES!

  7. This is going to be great!

    Let me add:
    "Ain't Gonna Buy A Gift For Anybody"
    (not for father, not for brother,
    not for sister, not for mother NO WAY!"

    "To Be A Gnome With You"

  8. Early one mornin' the snow was fallin',
    I was layin' in bed
    Wond'rin' if he'd come at all
    If his suit was still red.

  9. Buckets of REIN, buckets of DEER

  10. Santa's sleigh,
    Deer, deer, deer, deer, Santa's sleigh,
    My woman needs it ev'ryday.

  11. That last one belongs to Reindeer Day Women.

  12. Everybody missed this one .....

    "Santa Baby (Stop Crying)"

  13. (Santa) Baby, I'm in the mood for Yule.

  14. Every grain of Santa
    Jingle-bell Isle
    X-Mas Confusion

  15. Okay, one more:

    The antler my friend is blowing in the wind.